"The Peeing Post"
Newsletter for dog lovers who respect the dog's nature
Chief Editor: Mogens Eliasen
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Dear Dog Friend,
Happy New Year!
This is really an amazing end of a turbulent year. I cannot remember when I last time felt this good about a new year coming. The main reason is that we finally got some major projects finished and in place, the Affiliate Program being probably the most important one. I know many loyal subscribers to The Peeing Post are passing on issues to friends and encouraging them to sign up, and many people who have bought my books and videos are recommending them to others, simply to help these friends. I am very happy for this - because it helps me too. But I have only little chance of expressing my gratitude, mostly because I do not know when it happens! Using my own principles from dog training, I would like to add a tangible reward to those who pass on the word. And that's what K9joy's Affiliate Program is all about!
We got the program installed and tested by the software techs, and, as of now, there is just left for us to link our current web pages to the program, so we should have it ready in 2-3 days. I will be back with an announcement. If you want to be an early bird, you are very welcome to sign up - just follow the instructions at http://k9joy.com/affiliates.
Pet Door Project
We have had nice interest in the Pet Door Project - enough to start, yet not quite enough to carry through. It proves to me that it is the many small streams that make the river...
I realize from the responses we have got, that too much information has been missing regarding the specifics of the process. Anita has added some additional information on the web page, outlining what the next steps are, what exactly your invested money will be used for, how we will structure the venture and make sure that nobody gets shafted or screwed, how we manage possible problems, how and when everybody gets paid, and how you can make the income tax free.
I also got a few responses from concerned subscribers who had heard or seen scary stuff about Invention Submission Corp. (ISC) - I certainly appreciate those! The general concern is that, when you search on Google for "ISC" or "invention", then you get a lot of reference to a lot of complaints about the way ISC is doing business...
I looked into those and I had some back-up checks done. The main thing that struck me was that it was nothing but disgruntled people complaining about ISC not delivering what they were "supposed" to. There was nothing to substantiate any of the claims... There are more details about this on the web site.
Because of all this, and because our techs have been working on our site in order to install our affiliate program (causing several "time-outs" we did not predict), we have been able to extend the time we can offer the discounted 2003-price - but only till January 6th, 2004. On January 7th, 2004, the price will go up to $120/share and the current offer at $80/share (for 10 or more) and $85/share (9 or less) will be gone.
I am also arranging a conference call for everyboy who is interested in asking questions and getting more information. The date will be Monday, January 5th, 2004. More information on the web site where you can also sign up for this conference call. Please do not sign up if you are not going to be there - I have limited capacity on those conferences and have to pay for extra lines.
The web site is http://k9joy.com/PetDoor. Check out the new information - it might address your concerns. If you still have any left, then contact me!
Using dog training principles on humans...
Everybody knows The Four Boxes:
sense impression or
perform as you want
As many of my student have experienced and expressed over the years, this fundamental training principle sure works on dogs - but it also works on kids...
It actually works on people, in general!
I had a wonderful conversation with one of the Pet Door investors today which I feel like sharing with you. Not the personal details, but the essence of a core part of the conversation.
We talked about human relationships compared to the ways dogs build relationships. This woman (I will refer to her as Phyllis) lives in a not-too-healthy relationship with a husband that keeps her a prisoner by controlling her access to finances. Although he isn't violent, he appears to be both stubborn and ignorant to her needs and to the dog - and she is now at a point where taking charge of her own finances is a major personal goal. (The Pet Door Project can certainly help her on that, as the International Business Corporation behind it will have no legal obligations to report the dividend payouts to anybody except the shareholders...)
Anyway, there was a little episode between Phyllis and her husband. She was busy on the phone and then suddenly, her husband came in an offered her a cookie - something he hardly ever does! She waived him away - and he left, taking the cookie with him.
Phyllis actually appreciated the gestures - but she was just too busy at the moment - and besides, she still felt hurt from his earlier rude behavior to her that day...
When we talked about dogs a little earlier, however, Phyllis was keen to tell me that, when she comes home, the dog always gets greeted immediately, no matter what she has in her hands! The dog cannot understand that she is too busy or has her hands full of grocery bags; it needs to greet - and she has learned enough from The Peeing Post to understand that this greeting is a must for the bonding between herself and the dog. It is important for this relationship that the dog gets rewarded for the positive intention it has with its greeting behavior - the natural reward is reciprocating the greeting - and doing that will strengthen the bonding relationship.
Make sense, right?
Question: What is the difference between a dog and a stubborn husband? Or a "difficult" child?
Well, thinking in these terms, there is no difference! Provided, of course, you are interested in maintaining the relationship... (it certainly goes for my own autistic stepson).
Relationships are like plants - they either grow or die. Everything living is subject to this fundamental rule: grow or die. Stagnation is not an option. The Earth will not stop rotating, no matter how much you might wish to keep things "just as they are". It will not happen. You have the choice of letting them deteriorate - or helping them develop.
So, what about treating the grumpy husband who is offering the cookie in accordance with the same principles as we use for the dog? First off, he might want to bring another cookie at another time. Next cookie might be a less tangible "cookie" - it could be something emotionally more important... But more importantly: by rewarding the gesture, you contribute to a strengthening of the personal bonding! You contribute to the relationship growing more pleasant for both parties - you reverse the effect of "growing apart"...
Next step is to consider what a reward is...
As for dogs, it matters nothing what you think of the value of the reward you give. All that matters is what the dog - the receiver, feels about it.
Used on husbands: reminding him of his promise to do the dishes or repair that thing that was broken is not likely to trigger any positive emotions in a busy grumpy man's brain... (or even in the brain of a woman - as Anita tells me...)
Would a smile do? A kiss? Maybe ... it depends on his mood. But one thing will always work: attention! Particularly positive attention, adding a smile and a "thank you", and you are in control of the training process... You are actually now playing "unfair", because you are manipulating this man's subconscious mind, brainwashing him to feel more attracted to you and much more apt to do kind things in the future. (My fiance does this to me all the time and it makes my life a pleasure! J)
But it is a training process, just as with a dog. You do not get the results overnight. But, if you can be consistent, you can see results in a few weeks! And the more small areas you can include in this training, the faster you will see a significant improvement of the relationship.
Yes, it is great to be treated like a dog! Don't fear for it, guys - but use it on your wives too! You will be amazed to experience that vaccuming and doing dishes many times actually will work well as "foreplay"....
Although joking, this stuff is dead-serious. If we, in our daily lives with the people we need to spend lots of time with, and want to keep a positive relationship with, would just try to make an effort to treat them like dogs, rewarding them emotionally for behavior we want them to repeat, then we can make a significant diffference. Those relationships will improve and we will enjoy them more!
It needs to work on two frontiers, though, in order to be effective. One thing is to be conscientious about rewarding what we want more of. Another thing is to quit rewarding what we do not want repeated...
This last one puts some tough demands on you. You need to get to know the other person, and you need to get to understand what he/she will perceive as a reward. This can be very challenging, especially when we talk about men understanding women, and women understanding men. We are different, not only physically, but most definetely also emotionally. What men enjoy is generally different from what women enjoy. If you, a woman, want to reward a man, it won't have much effect if you use a female standard for what a person is "supposed" to enjoy. What matters is only what this person actually will enjoy. Same thing for men: don't use your own standards for what you think is enjoyable when you want to figure out what a woman will value...
Dogs are wonderfully simple and predictable in this regard. They are "unspoiled" and honest. People have created all kinds of complex ideas about what they want, what they can afford, what is acceptable, what is legitimate, and what is achievable. Most of rules, laws, and cultural standards that are forced on us screw up the picture completely by adding all kinds of unnatural restrictions that rarely are very helpful, but often outright unhealthy. All this mixes into a very complex set of individual perceptions of what is valuable and enjoyable and what is not. The variations are so many that it can appear overwhelming. but it really isn't impossible to figure out. Simple testing will tell you what works and what doesn't... And figuring out what another person really enjoys isn't that hard if you are seriously interested in the relationship and willing to spend some time together.
Have you ever experienced that a person is doing something you really don't want him/her to do, but explaining your concern never works? The behavior just continues...?
Well, there is obviously no point in using words that are ignored (most likely because listening would lead to this person having to admit that you were right - which can be a terrible anti-reward, especially for people who want to feel that they are in control). Instead, you can start training this person's behavior! Find out what triggers the behavior you want - and find out how you can possibly reward it. Remember, it has to be a reward in their eyes, not yours.
I promise you: it works wonders! It works on kids, on spouses, on friends, on peers, on subordinates, and on bosses. I have tried them all - this is personal experience, not theory.
Oh, I forgot: it also works on dogs...J
My only problem now is: Does it work on you?
I suggest a New Year's resolution that will allow you to make it also work on you! Create your own rewards for the things you want to change. Use the principle also on yourself - and you will see how much more enjoyable life will become, for both yourself and for the people around you!
Free teleconference on food and feeding
We had a great time on the first teleconference call about "Feeding natural - why it is important". We went past the scheduled time, though - over 2.5 hours in total before all questions were answered.
Next time will be on Wednesday, January 14, at 6:00 PM Pacific time.
We will cover the same topics again, so if you missed it first time around, this is the last chance to get it for free...
You get more information, also about signing up, on this page:
Cheers and woof,
If you have any suggestions to contributions or contents of The Peeing Post, I will be happy to know about them. (Please no anonymous contacts, though...)
If you have any comments or questions pertaining to this issue or in general pertaining to dogs, please respond - if I can find an answer for you, I will!
Even if your question is a "My dog..." question of a personal nature, I will be happy to give you as much advice as I can per e-mail, provided you will give me feedback on how you used my advice and what results you got - and allow me to publish the story. (If I don't get feedback, you get an invoice for my time...)
You can access the back issues at http://k9joy.com/peeingpost/backissues.html
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P.P.S. Don't forget to check out the Pet Door! It is an incredible chance for you to become part of a venture that could capitalize in a very big way on a very unique invention, with as little or as much invested capital that fits your budget.
Yes, it certainly helps me when you order your shares - but it helps me regardless who does it. It only helps you if you do it...
Shares like these are simply not offered to the general public ever, and I can only do it because I know how to set up an International Business Corporation for it, because it would not be legal to extend this invitation to you if the business vehicle was foudned on US or Canadian law...
So, grab your chance - when the shares are sold, the offer will never come back.